'I Want to Look Good Naked'

A concept I've been sort fixetated on a lot lately is the idea of life's resume.

It's a lot like a bucket list, except you don't have to get cancer first.

Put another way, life's resume is stuff you do that's worth noting. Achievements or milestones that stand out, that most other people haven't done. Boring examples might include getting married, having kids, graduating from college, winning employee of the month, or similar.

I've got a couple of cool resume items under my belt: I once quit a job on the spot. I've peed directly into an open septic tank and off a cliff. I told a fellow customer I was in line with she was an asshole when she was being an asshole to the checker. I've done a triathlon. I've hiked to the tip-top of Half Dome.

I want to run 26.2 miles in under four hours in a measured competition because, statistically speaking, you never will.

A marathon is hard. Everyone won't do one because everyone can't do one. Everyone should be able to, but everyone should be able to make good judgements that keep them off the TV show COPS, too.

Here's the other thing: I'm physically attracted to runners. Short or tall, people who run as a lifestyle choice are generally more attractive to me than folks who don't. I want to be the kind of attractive I'm attracted to.

Yeah. That's Kevin Spacey in American Beauty, a movie about un-giving up. I feel like we live in a culture that's just given up. Attractiveness is for movie stars, not for normals. And totally aside from the health benefits of running, runners just look better naked.

I have three goals associated with my first marathon: get a cool item on my life's resume, work hard at looking good naked, and the shorter-term goal of finishing in under four hours. I really want my time to have a 3 at the beginning. It can be 3:59:59, and I'll be thrilled. I'll forgive myself up to 4:15, but I really want that less-than-four-hours notch on my belt.